I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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