we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
