I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
