He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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