I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
