I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
