are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
