Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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