When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
