I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.