Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story