I chose taco bell over sex...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
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Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list