we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?