My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
COCAINE IS GR8