You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
