all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
