are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
