if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
