what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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