bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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