I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito