we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dignity is for republicans.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.