if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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