i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Someone signed my nipple.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
