just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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