My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
