Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
