Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
