member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
