just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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