There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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