just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
