forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
