It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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