I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
