So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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