Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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