No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
