i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
