I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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