Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize