I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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