Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
