She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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