chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
