This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
