Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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