Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
