the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
