and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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