it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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