My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
