I molested 6 butterflies tonight
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
