I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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