I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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