next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
