She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
