he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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