if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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