so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
