things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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