I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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