I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
