TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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