Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Randomize
